Normally i try and think of a clever title to each of these posts but this time i think ill wait for that to be the last thing. Recently I have started realizing a few things, that at my age i share a common ground with every other person on this planet. I have a want/need/desire/interest/whatever in finding that special someone. Although, after just starting to read 'wild at heart' I've realized that there is a fatal flaw in my thinking, as well as many men. we've been taught that the ultimate goal, the end of the level after beating bowzer, all that good stuff has always been to get the girl. Then what? That's it? Don't take this the wrong way guys and girls but deep down I'm starting to think that women don't want to be the damsel in distress. They don't want to be the pinnacle of your story. Why? Lets think about it, were going on our adventure and once we reach that point its over. Wheres the excitement after it? the simple answer is, there isn't. It breaks my heart to see my friends struggling with things like this and that has been my motivation for writing this. i love all my friends and want nothing but the best for them and hope that somehow this helps who its supposed to. Every person has an adventure to go on. every Clyde needs a bonnie. the courtship and the relationship should be just a chapter in your book and be right before that new adventure comes and sweeps you both away as your swept downriver on an adventure of a lifetime. I'm still barley penning my first chapters in my book, and i hope to have many more risk taking moments...
i don't have anything else to say for now but i hope this opens up to bring in some dialogue and hopefully get me to dig deeper and find out more about myself as well as you the reader.

Too many one liners, too many catchy chants

Maybe if my words were pretty I could.
Maybe if I had courage I would.
Curse this mask I live behind
If I had a chance I'd make you mine

So many lines cast out
So few replies
The wind has gone and I'm dead in the water

Suppose if I tried I could row to shore,
But then again what am I out here for?

No love to be had
No great war to fight
Were all just adrift
With no map to guide

I don't quite get it
Ill never understand
We hold so tight to dirt
As it falls through our hands

Left to our devices
And our so lovely vices
Were the people who were destroyed
From a past that was not ours

What will come of me?
Suppose I should wait
Who really knows
Too many sharks in the sea

This water is too calm
Not a stir from wave
And then I realize
That I sunk too far to tell

joy

As i sit here sipping coffee and watching ninja warrior i start to think to myself, what amount of events have brought me to this point. not so much this exact point, i would suppose a day off of work and a slight sense of laziness would be what brought me to here to this exact point.

But as far as all the things I've done in my life to make me take advantage of the opportunities I've been given, i think joy would have to be the one constant in this whole thing. I don't really see joy as something that makes you bubbly and giddy like a lil kid really, I see it more as a spiritual hug. Anyone whos even been on this planet for more than a minute knows how great it feels to have someone just hold you and know that feeling is of genuine care.

As a side note, hug and joy are three letter words so im going to use them interchangably just because, well because.

Immagine always having someone giving you a hug, the feeling of that person showing you that not only do they care about you, but that they are right there with you. thats what joy is to me.
Sometimes we really dont feel like being hugged, we just want to be alone and to do things on our own, but that feeling I sincerely believe is our selfish ways and desire to do things on our own. Be it from past relationships that leave you with emotional scars, a sense of pride that makes you want to be able to stand and say your alone and are doing better than anyone ever would, or a slow riptide effect of feeling more and more distant from the people you love on the shoreline untill your out in the ocean struggling to get back to safety.

I'm talking about this because in one way or another im positive ive been each one of these people, and now that im sinking in the ocean i reach up and take one last breath before I'm sure I'll sink and i feel someone grab my hand and pull me out and give me that hug that i so despiratelty needed. and as I stand up I suddenly realize something. The water I thought I was drowning in doesnt even reach up to my knees. when your eye level with anything though it makes it a lot harder to tell how deep in you are or what to do.

I guess a lot of rambling has left me to probably open up and share slightly more details than i would have liked to, but if i cant be open here i dont really see there being any other place to.
I'm definitely dragging this out a ways in the hopes that some sort of epiphany will hit me at any moment and i think it is this, joy is not something thatwill make you giddy, rather it is the thing that will save you in wour despair. it is the hug from a friend that we so despirately need when we think we have to go it alone. it is what brings about peace and shows us that we are right where we need to be.

A turn of events

This whole idea of getting a blogging page has always seemed interesting, though a lack of stories to tell has kept me a little apprehensive. BUT surprisingly enough or maybe not at all, who knows how everything is supposed to play out, I have come upon someone else's life and its been quite interesting. Its almost like I'm a terrible actor in an already c-rated movie. I have gone through so many twists as of late it seems like I have outgrown my old body and moved into this other life story. I guess its something like being in the 20's. Once you hit those ages there's quite a few modifications you have to make. Let me explain.
I've gone from having what I thought was a good relationship to trading that in for a more focused life. I've upgraded from a job working at a pizza shop to focusing on carrier steps to some extent. I've gone from being not only broke but paying for necessities with money I didn't have to being able to put together a plan to hopefully move out soon. I've gone from struggling to keep a few friends around to having more friends than I can count. needless to say I have been unbelievably blessed as of late.
I hope this doesn't seem like a bragging type of thing, the goal is to show a little bit of history and how i can sit here now and probably as convinced as you are that somewhere through this i had to start making things up, be it good or bad.
I put a pause on posting blogs for a while between my last one because i still had aspects of my life to figure out but now that those are i am definitely interested in keeping this record of what happens.
Short term future wise i have a lot of military stuff to attend to this weekend and im sure ill keep you posted on that as well as going back to work after that.
Long term future im shooting to have a first cross country God fearing youth trip to unified underground as well as working to.....well, dang. I don't know what I'm working to really. Lemmie get back to you on that.
I guess last thing for me is though im sure i will thouroughly enjoy this new body I've stolen, I'm interested to see if ill find the first one that i abandoned...and what will happen when i do find it. Only time will tell i guess.
Actual tales and missadventures are soon to come now that we are back on track.

the start of something interesting,

Greetings ladies and gents! I've picked up doing this as a record of my life. All the good, the bad. A no punches pulled, hopefully at least weekly status check on what I"ve been up to work wise, spiritually, emotionally, and physically. At the rate my life has picked up I'm pretty interested to see what i can remember to record on this and look back on. thanks for visiting and once I've finished this week we should have a good story going.
Stephen